double line carrying esses mark my thoughts constantly. paris awaits with her french smelling splendor and my old life. not so mere dollars and cents seperate me from my adopted mother. i've been trying to forget, but the fulbright scholarship committee regretted to inform me not too long ago. i regret to be informed. hope lies in an unreturned job application for an assistantship position teaching english. may seems far away. i fear receiving a letter marked félicitations! biënvenue à anywhere but paris. grenoble or toulouse are beautiful, but not the same. i feel more confident about this than the fulbright, and rightfully so.

without money, i'm at a loss for survival. my skills are limited and my muscles weak. i've had my share of manaual labor. under the table work in paris leaves me feeling less than enthousiastic. one must be on hands and knees to fit beneath a table. alternatives include homegrown misery in birmingham, alabama and any imaginary "real job" for those with french, philosophy and psychology degrees. french translation seems possible, if not terribly fruitful.

feeling strangely seduced by ohian heights of pretty words these days. new electronic interactions are novel to me. lines of handwritten calligraphy have soul. ones and zeroes are further removed, but still make me glow a little in the shadow of a greek cave. neither one, however, keeps me warm on lonely rainfilled georgia nights.